Friday, August 2, 2013

A New Year, A New Attitude

It is 2013 and the past eight years have been the toughest of my life.  My life is such a mess that there are times when I don't know how to get through the next minute.  Really.  I am at a point where my survival is minute-by-minute.

2013 has brought a yearning in me.  I want to enjoy my life again.  I want to smile genuinely, look forward to something, feel contentment, and be at ease.  The trouble is that I have forgotten how to do these things.  I have been so unhappy for so long that everything is a burden, my worries overwhelm me and, though I am lonely as hell, I want to be left alone.

A voice inside me tells me that it is a hopeful sign that I want things to be different. 

Since I don't know how to get to the place I would rather be, I have decided to just journey and hope I wind up there.  My journey is going to be reading all that I can on changing my outlook, healing my wounds, forgiving those who have hurt me, finding my faith in God again, and moving toward my goals.  At this time I cannot afford a therapist, so I will cull the Internet for articles, quotes, prayers and advice and use this forum to comment, journal, and hopefully, grow.

I have to believe that moving forward has got to take me away from where I stand now.  Baby steps are better than no steps at all.  I just can't remain where I am right now.

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