Happy New Year

I am a teacher. I make New Year's resolutions twice a year. Like most people, I make them as the new year approaches, after the busyness and chaos of the holidays. I take time to take stock and figure out where I can make improvements in my life. But I also get a clean slate and a new beginning each September as the new school year approaches.

There is an old joke about teaching that the three best things about the profession are June, July and August. Any teacher worth her salt knows that these are the months, after the busyness and chaos of the preceding school year, to reflect and ask the hard questions about what you could have done better, brush up on your subject matter, and make improvements. Somewhere in there you try to rest up and restore yourself to yourself.

Although I hate the end of summer and its slower pace, I do feel excited by the prospect of a new year. I mark this fresh start with tangible tokens of newness: new pens, pencils, papers, and the latest organization system that I am sure will beat the one from the year before. And then I buy tissues, vitamin C, hand lotion, jugs of hand sanitizer and granola bars. It all gets packed in my "new school bag" which I convince myself will be sturdy enough to last the whole year.

Before long, the school year will start to drag. I will feel stressed, forgetful and bone-tired. A thought will creep in that I've got to make some changes fast, or the quality of my life will be strained. And it just so happens that this will occur right around December 31st: the perfect time for a clean slate and some new resolutions.

George Foreman for President

Sorry, folks, he isn't running. I just wish he would. I saw him on the television show, American Inventor, and I continued to watch subsequent episodes of the show just to see how kindly he handled the contestants, and his no-nonsense attitude. He seemed to embody so many philosophies at once: persevere and you will succeed, don't sweat the small stuff, and a kind word is a wonderful gift you can give someone.

A look at his biography will show that he believes in hard work and giving back. In addition to his work as an ordained minister in Texas, he opened up a youth center. In his interviews he is quick to talk about his love of God, his love of his family and the importance of forgiveness. His successes in the ring and in the field of marketing prove him to be an astute businessman.

My son turned to me while we were watching American Inventor and saw my smile and said, "I bet if we didn't already have one, you would go out and buy a George Foreman Grill." I laughed and said, "You know, that's probably true, but I will go you one better: if he would run for President, I'd vote for him tomorrow."

Family Rules

For years I had a list of "family rules" tacked up on the wall in the upstairs hallway. I had printed it out on the computer and hoped that we could make them instinctive. I really wanted them to just be a reminder of the rules of behavior we talked about as a family. There were major headings like "Respect for Our World," and "Respect for Our Family," and "Respect for Others." A rule under the heading "Respect for Our World," was "Leave a Place Better Than You Found It." This was because I just couldn't stand it when the boys would not put something away because "they hadn't taken it out." My son once picked up litter by a creek in our favorite park. He was disgusted that someone would defile such a beautiful spot. As he went over to the trash receptacle, he said to me matter-of-factly, "I'm leaving a place better than I found it."

I found that some rules needed to be added as we went along. When my oldest boy was eight he went on a playdate where there were older siblings. He came home with a bruise on his chest from someone giving him what is called a "purple nurple." I was absolutely horrified. Quickly I added "Respect for your own body" to our list of rules.

When the boys became teenagers I needed an updated list of rules. They were really the same rules, but more explicitly phrased. "Respect for your own body," is now a heading over "No drugs," "No alcohol." I was squeamish about posting rules which pertained to sex, so I worded them in a way that the boys know exactly what I mean (because we've talked about it so much). So under "Respect for Others" as well as "Respect for Yourselves" is "Don't do anything that will bring you consequences and responsibilities."

In many ways, the boys think I am silly. They roll their eyes and sometimes even laugh. But they know what I stand for and they know what is expected of them as members of this family. And so, as my four-year old daughter learns to read, I will make a new "starter list" for her. Ideally, the boys will even help me with it. It shouldn't be hard since the list is just a written reminder of all of the things we stand for as a family.

On Being a Nerd

I love school. My college experience was a little disappointing because I had expected (really!) to mingle with lots of like-minded people who wanted to go to class, then grab a cup of joe or a cold beer and discuss and debate all of the wonderful things we were learning. Instead, I met people who, rabid with sudden independence, slept through their morning classes, and lived for "free keg."

After college, I worked in marketing and loved to attend professional certificate classes. I didn't make a career out of it, though. I found my true calling when I went back to my high school alma mater for a luncheon in honor of one of my favorite teachers and landed a job teaching sophomores and seniors.

Then life happened: I had two children and bought a house in the woods. After getting accustomed to country living I realized I wanted (needed!) to go back to school for another degree. So, after running around with my two and four year old boys all day, I would go to the local university and marvel that I was there, and being older, even better at learning and understanding.

I am starting another certificate program tomorrow. I can't wait. My teen aged boys think I am insane. They can't believe anyone in their right minds would actually want to go to school. They laughed at me as I got my folder, notebook and pens ready. I wonder how this happened to me. Was I born loving school? Is it a consequence of how much I love books? And why didn't my boys inherit my "school gene"? These are things I will ponder now because tomorrow I will be weighed down with ideas and reading assignments. Ahhhhh!

Consequences

My neighborhood is reeling from a horrific car accident. On a very busy thoroughfare (four lanes of traffic, two in each direction), someone saw a parking spot on the opposite side of the street. She decided to make a u-turn across three lanes of traffic, and failed to negotiate it. She slammed onto the sidewalk, critically injuring one and killing another (the details of the injuries are too awful to delineate here). The site of the accident is directly across from a municipal parking lot. This woman now has to live with the fact that at least one person is dead because she needed a parking spot.

Technically, the word careless means indifferent to the consequences. We use the word careless when we forget to pick up the dry-cleaning; or when a child forgets his assignment pad. I've called myself careless on those occasions when I have gone to the grocery store for milk, but walked out with $35.00 worth of groceries and no milk. In none of these examples, has the person been forgetful or lacking in the face of consequences. But the woman who caused the accident committed a traffic violation, willingly, because her needs were paramount. She needed a parking spot, and she was willing to risk a ticket to land it.

The horror is that she risked so much more. She risked people's lives. She was truly careless: she was indifferent to the consequences. Of course she couldn't envision that she would take a life, but when she failed to care about the consequences of crossing three lanes of traffic, illegally, she opened the door to the probability of random, indiscriminate consequences. And while she has to live with that fact for the rest of her life, I'll venture that the families of both of her victims are not consoled by that.